Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Walk of Shame today included voting.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
