Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It's never too late to be topless.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
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