I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
