You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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