i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
from now on my penis is your penis
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
