Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
