It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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