To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
