Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
