if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
