I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
