Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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