Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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