GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
