walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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