How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
