Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I need moral support for this bender
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
