I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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