where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize