I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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