So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
