stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Actions speak louder than pants.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
