Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
there is glitter all over my balls
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