Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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