Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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