Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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