There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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