I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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