you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We have started to decorate penises.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
