if only i could text you this smell
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm sobbing to NWA
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
