I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
