I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
