if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Randomize
