Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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