why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
