i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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