For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I understand Curling. That high.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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