i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He uses pillows to masturbate.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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