When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
