what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
