He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
