how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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