I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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