and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
