Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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