Will you blow on my dice?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
