If that was your dad, he is hot
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
