Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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