I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
