hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
