I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
no you cant smoke seaweed
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
