So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize