my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
