I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
