Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
How's work?
Spinning.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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