12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
