miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
