Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
