Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
