he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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