We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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