turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
