I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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